Sunday, April 6, 2008
Who I Am
Now that I've finally realized my true purpose in life--that of a mother, I have yet to find myself. Not in the way that the world wants you to "find yourself" (by throwing home, family and rules out the window and doing whatever you want), but just that since having kids, I can't quite put a finger on who I am apart from my kids anymore.
Yesterday, the three younger kids were sleeping, DH and the oldest were out getting haircuts (technically, the oldest didn't get his hair cut, but that's another story altogether), and I was sitting on the couch thinking that I ought to be doing something constructive, but I couldn't think of anything to do.
This seems to be my problem a lot lately. All the things that used to interest me (scrapbooking, journaling, writing, reading, singing/playing guitar or piano, hobbies I used to have) I just don't have the will to do anymore. So when I do get a free moment to myself, I just sit there. It's like I've lost part of myself and I can't seem to get it back--I don't even want to try. Am I just too tired from the stress of child-rearing, or is there something wrong with me?