Friday, April 23, 2010

Doing It All


I have been having thoughts on this subject for months now, but didn't have the nerve to write about it because I felt it was too big of a subject to tackle. But here I go.

Why do we as women think we have to do it all?

I recently read another blog post about doing it all.

I realize that developing our talents is important. That is true. But we have all those years of growing up to focus on that and only that. Once we become parents, developing our talents should take a huge backseat.

I get overwhelmed sometimes with the pressure of having to do it all. Especially in this age of technology where we can read about the lives of the people we know through blogs and Facebook and other technologies. I see that Sister So-and-so is baking all her meals from scratch while keeping her home spotlessly polished, she writes a highly trafficked blog and speaks at writing conventions, she also has her own little boutique business on the side, her six children are smiling and smart and seemingly perfect. She loves and adores her husband and he cherishes her, always bringing her flowers, or doing the dishes for her and taking care of the children while she keeps up with all her hobbies and talents.

Now there's nothing wrong with keeping up with talents and having hobbies and an occasional girls night out to keep sane. But sometimes I think that all these things we try to do creates an invisible competition and we feel that if we can't do everything sister so-and-so is doing, then we aren't good enough.

I think we need to be able to share our accomplishments and talk about them. But maybe we need to pause for a moment and just soak up our family life and focus only on that instead of everything else. Yes, talents are important. Yes, friendship is important. But our children are more important than any of those. Our marriage is even more important than our children. And God is the most important of all. It's hard to keep everything in perspective. At least it is for me. I feel a lot of outside pressure to be perfect, when really, as long as I'm being the best mom and wife I can be and doing it with the Spirit, I'm doing just what I should be doing and all that other stuff is fluff.

3 comments:

swedemom said...

I'm not even sure what doing it all means these days. And frankly, I don't believe the people who say the house is spotlessly clean, and they blog constantly, and run a boutigue business, etc. Something has to give. And there are probably lots of things left undone.
For me, it is looking about the important things every week and doing my best. For example, this week has been insanely busy. I usally cook every meal from scratch. This week, I bought a lot of prepared meals and we even ate out twice. cooking was what gave. And I didn't do a thorough cleaning of my house either. I kept things tidy, but that was it.
But I guess I've long embraced this philosophy because of my illness. I just CAN'T do it all without a severe health breakdown which would be disastrous to my family.
I have been working on listening to the spirit to direct my efforts. The other day, after I had tidied a room, I had a very clear prompting that I was done cleaning and that I needed to go play with my daughter. I had more things on my list. But I was to stop cleaning and play with my girl. We did and had a lovely afternoon. I felt good about that.

NatureGirl said...

I am a bit ahead of you in life (aka OLDER) and I can tell you that you are on the right track. That is not to say that you give up everything and no longer work on growing and developing, but contrary to that post there actually IS a season for everything and we cannot do it all priorities or not. Hang in there and keep on truckin'

ISBAM said...

I add my amen to the 1st comment. I think the pressure of doing it all comes from ourselves. I have a heart condition, I know I can't do it all. So I don't try. I do MY best. I agree that people who seem to have it all together really don't. Something gives. Their situation is not our situation, either. Comparing is pointless. I was in a RS lesson once, where the teacher was discussing this topic. One woman raised her hand and commented on her current situation of her husband leaving her to raise 6 children on her own while he married a new young bride. Her comment led to the teacher asking if anybody wanted to trade trials with her. Nobody raised a hand. The teacher than asked this sister if she wanted to trade with anyone else in the room. She said no. She recognized that even though someone else may seem like they have fewer challenges, we are each given what will help us grow best. The Lord helps us and we become better because of OUR challenges. How wonderful that the Lord knows us so perfectly!

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