It's nearly 5 am. I've been awake since 3 am. I got up to go to the bathroom and was upset to find that I was bleeding. A lot. I've been spotting since last weekend on and off. My doctor didn't seem to concerned when I told her at my appointment last week. The ultrasound showed a viable pregnancy and a tiny, rapid heartbeat. So I relaxed. But the bleeding has continued since and not ebbed.
I'm still not sure if this is a miscarriage or just the first trimester bleeding I experienced with my three previous pregnancies. I don't have cramping. Or maybe I do. I can't tell. Feels like indigestion to me.
I go in today for a microRhogam shot. I'm Rh negative and because I've been spotting, they want to give me the shot to prevent complications from Rh incompatibility. I will definitely be talking to the doctor about this and if the pregnancy is still viable.
Until then, I'm a nervous Nellie. But I must not dwell on it. My second child has his kindergarten testing appointment this morning and I need to be fully there for him.
I know I've been negative. But if I miscarry, I'm not sure I will be trying to get pregnant again. I didn't want such a huge gap between any of my kids and at this rate, my daughter will be four. I also don't know if I can go through another month of morning sickness again, only to possibly miscarry again.
Well, I'm going to get ready for the day. Hoping for the best, but expecting the worst. There's not much to do at this point. If I'm going to miscarry, nothing will change that.
My oldest child will be so disappointed. He was so excited to be a big brother again. I think that will be the hardest part of all.