Have any of you ever reached that point where you are one step away from either a nervous breakdown or complete insanity?
That's where I'm at.
Going from one to two kids was insanely hard for me. I dealt with postpartum depression, my second baby did not sleep well for the first four months. In fact, he went one 36 hour stretch where he only slept a total of about 4 hours. It was pure torture.
Going to three and then to four were not as hard as that first transition.
This time around has just been grueling.
I know my baby isn't doing this on purpose. He's not purposefully trying to make me crazy by not sleeping long enough--try only thirty minute naps ALL day long. But I've had to hand him off to my 8-year-old to keep me from doing anything horrible already today. I just can't take it any more. I can't figure out what I'm doing wrong, why he won't sleep longer than 30 minutes. I watch that 90 minute window carefully and watch him carefully for signs of sleepiness and then put him down. He's eating well. He's pooping. So why isn't he sleeping?
And then when I finally do get a break from him, I get anxiety over what I should spend my time doing. Should I work on my enormous to-do list that never ends to which things keep adding up on it (and I have to do most of the tasks--my husband can't do many of those things, like sewing) or should I take a nap and get some much needed sleep?
And it doesn't help at all that I've come down with a bad cold.
My son's baptism is next weekend and we have family coming in town for that.
My baby's blessing is also next weekend.
I got called up for jury duty this week. I mean, when they asked if there were any dates I would be unavailable between May 2nd and June 30th, I never thought I'd get called up this week when everything is slamming on me at once! I really hope that I go in and they send me home and then I don't have to report any other day but the first.
Seriously, though, it would follow the pattern of bad luck from the rest of my life if I ended up doing jury duty all week. It really would.
I think I'm going to have a panic attack now.
Oh wait, I can't. I have to start making dinner.