That leads me to my point. I'm glad Senior Dinner Dance was stag or I may not have gone. I say that because out of the 20 date dances that occurred (I call them "date" dances because our school also had a "Stomp" once a month that was more like a stake dance--you just went and danced and hung out with friends), I only got asked to six of them. Out of the remaining fourteen, eight of them were guy-ask-girl, so I was able to go to the other six because I asked the guy on the date.
You might say, what's the big deal? Why bother writing about this now, some fifteen-plus years later?
It still bothers me to remember that when those guy-ask-girl dances came around, I usually didn't get asked. It hurt me very deeply back then and I still feel remnants of that pain today. The worst was Junior Prom when I was a junior. I even desperately attempted to ask a friend of mine just so I could go and be there with my friends. I tried someone from another school and even tried a couple seniors I knew from my school. I even thought about seeing if my older brother, a BYU student at the time, would go with me, but we were never very close. I even considered my dad.
My mom spent about six weeks before the event sewing me a beautiful prom dress, in case I got asked. When I didn't, she set up a professional photo session, made an appointment to get my hair professionally done as I would have if I had been going to the dance, and we did that. That night, we went out to dinner, my mom and I, and we had some quality mother-daughter bonding time.
But I felt rejected, unliked, ugly. I missed Homecoming that year too. Not only did I miss Homecoming, but I was the only senior cheerleader who did not get nominated for the Homecoming Court. I missed Sweethearts Ball also. I even got rejected twice when asking guys for Girl's Pref that year. But I did end up going and having a good time.
I had lots of fun in high school. I had fun at the dances I did attend. My senior year I went to all of them because I had a steady boyfriend. His parents had a rule that he couldn't take me to more than two of them in a row together. Fortunately, I still managed to get a date to the ones I didn't attend with him.
I still look back on occasion and wonder what was so wrong with me during junior year that made guys not want to ask me out.
It makes me sad to think that my daughter might have to endure the same thing. I hope not. I hope she makes lots of good friends and has fun in high school. But I know she will still face hurtful situations and she will still have to learn from them. I hope I can teach my boys to be the kind of gentlemen who will ask out a girl who might not otherwise get asked just so she can feel good about herself and have a good time, and maybe, in the process, they can find a good friend.
Remembering that kind of rejection still hurts. At least, in my memory, I can still remember the rejection I felt.
This was from the November formal girl's preference dance my junior year.
This was from the Girl's Pref dance my sophomore year, shortly after moving from out-of-state
This was from the Girl's Pref dance my junior year. Yep, this is the third guy I asked who finally said yes.
This was the cheerleaders' Varsity Ball my junior year. That was the dress that was intended for my Junior Prom that my mother worked so hard on.
This was a girl's choice winter dance that they had my junior year. The guy was a really good friend from my ward.
All of these dates were fun, but not one of those guys ever asked me out in return. Not that they had to, but it would have been nice to feel like they enjoyed the evening as well and helped me to feel better about myself back then.