Tis the Season

When I was growing up, December was my favorite month of the year. Everything about it was glorious to me. The cold that caused your breath to come out in little white puffs. The homes brilliantly lit with thousands of colorful lights. The boughs of holly and bright red berries decorating doorways and stores and everything. The fact that my birthday falls a few days before Christmas. The wondering and waiting for Christmas morning, the excitement to watch family members open gifts from me and the thrill of opening my own gifts. I loved it all.

Back in those days, I was able to earn my own money baby-sitting, and around this time of year, I spent much of that money on cards and gifts for my friends and family. I started sending out Christmas cards in the sixth grade. Yes, you read that right. Sixth grade. That year I sent them to my closest friends, and probably some cousins and friends who lived in other places. And every year after that, I always had at least a dozen cards that I would send out.

I loved wearing Christmas sweaters and little Santa hats and just red, green and white. I used to have a whole wardrobe just for Christmas.

The music in choir and orchestra--Silver Bells, The Carol of the Bells, Candlelight Carol, Wassail, the Hallelujah Chorus--so many of my favorites we sung and played. One year, when I was in 8th grade, I got to lead my junior high school orchestra at the winter concert in a few pieces. I remember that I wore a white skirt with a red Christmas sweater to conduct. I wanted to stand out. I think most everyone else in the orchestra wore dark colors, but I wore that bright red and white. I think the concert may have been on my birthday, or very close to it.

Fast forward a decade or two.

I haven't really listened to any Christmas music this year.

I don't own any Christmas-specific clothes, just a red sweater or two.

I do still send out Christmas cards, and I love to do that.

My son asked me today why we can't just use rocks to trade for what we need and want instead of money. He said there seemed to be a lot more rocks than money, so we should just use rocks.

Christmas just isn't the delight it used to be for me. We just never seem to have enough time or money to do everything we want with the season. I don't know how to ignore all that and focus on the one thing that really matters, which is Christ. How do I focus only on that and teach my children to focus on that when everywhere around me is talk of the best Christmas deal and Santa Claus and how I HAVE to get my son's teacher a gift and I HAVE to take all my neighbors plates full of goodies and I HAVE to do this and that and everything in between.

And then yesterday I stopped to think. Why is Christmas this necessity? We spent a bare minimum on Christmas this year. Yet, I wonder, that money could probably be much better spent on something more important.

How can I make this season joyful again?

Debit Card Spending

Lately, I've been seeing a lot of articles, both online and in the newspaper, about how banks use debit cards as a way to suck money from their customers. The main reason always stated and discussed in great depth is that they zap you with all sorts of charges and fees when you overdraw your bank account. Customers complain that they credit the purchases in the order from greatest to smallest rather than chronologically, and then the customer is charged fees for 3 overdrafts instead of only one had they been in order.

Here's a tip to all you consumers out there using debit cards--make sure you have enough in your bank account before you swipe that card and you won't get hit with any fees! I can't remember the last time we were charged a fee for an overdraft. I do know it has happened to us, but instead of blaming the bank, it was more like smacking myself in the forehead for not being on top of my finances. It didn't occur to me that I could blame the bank for making a consequence for doing something wrong with my money. Gee, what a horrible bank for trying to make sure I don't spend money I don't have by giving me a consequence for when I do!

We write down every single expenditure we make in our checkbook, even those on the debit card, even that $1 for the animal crackers I bought at the gas station so my daughter wouldn't fall asleep on the way home. My husband gives me every receipt when he uses the debit card and I put them all in the checkbook. Here's another tip: balance your checkbook when that bank statement comes to make sure that they match and you didn't leave out any expenditures.

I know, I'm so old-school to do all that, but we haven't had a single problem with an overdraft since we started doing it. Sometimes it pays to be a bit old-school.

The Women in My Life

I was inspired by this on someone else's blog, so I decided to write about the women who've made a difference in my life. I've been blessed by so many great and wonderful women in my life, probably too many, in fact, to mention here, but I wanted to pay tribute to the women who've touched my life the most.

First and foremost, of course, is my mother. Not only did she sacrifice her own wants and desires in raising me and my brothers, but she taught me how to be a mother. Her example of faith and perseverance has really helped me to push forward even when times are tough. She set a great example in our home of spirituality and trusting in the Lord. I know there are times when she struggled with motherhood, but she never gave up and still doesn't.

The next woman who has inspired me is my sister-in-law Andrea. I love all my sisters-in-law and think they are all spectacular, but for me, Andrea is like the sister I never had. That's probably because she was my first sister-in-law. I have all brothers, so when we grew up and started dating to marry, I was excited to gain some "sisters". I was lucky to gain the ones I did--Allison, Kaori and Eve are all also fantastic and I love and admire them in different ways. But Andrea is my paragon of perfection. She is Supermom (with 6 kids, the youngest two being twins), she keeps busy but makes time for others in her life. She's everyone's friend, and by that, I mean she is really a true friend. She listens and loves and doesn't judge. She also keeps her children engaged in wholesome, meaningful activities, she is a superb cook, she is talented in music, she's athletic, she's just great. Sometimes I think I'd like to BE Andrea. Just so I could be such a great person too.

Next comes my mom's baby sister, my Aunt Ruth. Like Andrea, she excels in so many areas and seems to keep it all together. Even through the passing of one of her children as an infant and other hard trials she's dealt with (having a surprise baby in her 40's and caring for her aging father for many years, to name a few), she is happy, upbeat, and faithful in all she does. She has earned the place of confidante of her nieces and she is just a truly great person.

Next is my mother-in-law, Marti. I hear so often of women complaining of their mothers-in-law. How they are always butting in on childrearing and housekeeping. They are critical of everything. But my mother-in-law is not like that at all. she is so nice, she pays the same amount of attention to all her grandkids (and I don't think she even tries, she just does it), she doesn't judge or anything. She has also had her share of trials, losing her husband of 20+ years to cancer fairly young (in his 40's) who was also her high school sweetheart had to be difficult. Yet she still carries on with a cheerful heart.

Another woman I admire is my friend, Melissa. The first ward my husband and I lived in as a married couple, my husband and Melissa's husband were in the Elder's Quorum presidency together. When I first met Melissa, she had just had her fourth child. Her oldest was just 7. I respected that Melissa was a stay-at-home mom and her husband didn't have a high profile, lucrative career. They were sacrificing a lot to make ends meet, and she is another of those women who just seems to know how to be a mom and a wife and do it all with cheerfulness and faith. Today, 8-1/2 years later, Melissa now has 8 children and has seen her husband go from one job to another, but still, she finds joy in life despite the hardships she has faced.

Whitney was in the same elementary education cohort of mine in college. The first day of the cohort, I came in the auditorium and sat down behind her. She was talking to someone else, and I overheard her conversation. She had been married a short time, about a year, and was just gushing over how in love with her husband she was. Not only that, but as I got to know her, she breathed this enthusiasm for life and God's creations that I just can't do no matter how hard I try. She finds joy in every little thing around her. I only knew her those two short years. One short 6 week spring term we had a class together on another campus that we carpooled together for. During that time I learned that she joined the Church as a teenager and faced trials in that. Her husband is military and has spent some time away from home. I don't know her now as a mother very well because when we graduated, she had a baby and I moved on to teach school in another state. Then she moved even further away and today lives overseas. I get newsletters from her time to time, and she still has that never-ending optimism and enthusiasm that I can't even fake. I am grateful that she still includes me in some aspects of her life, being that we weren't the best of friends even then, but her example has meant a lot to me.

The last person I want to pay tribute to is my cousin's wife Lori. In June, just a few weeks after having her fourth child, who was a long time coming after she'd had several miscarriages, she was diagnosed with Hodgkin's lymphoma. She is currently undergoing treatments for the cancer, but when she's not at doctor's appointments, she maintains a full, busy life. Did I mention that her oldest child is only 7? I think if it were me, I would be sitting in bed bemoaning my fate in life. But she does fun activities with her kids, she keeps busy with her social life and she takes great care of her husband, despite how tired her cancer treatments are making her. He works two jobs to provide for them and I know that money is tight, but yet they still manage to find happiness and hope.

There are so many more women that I could highlight, former roommates of mine, friends from different wards I've lived in, even friends from high school who are now doing amazing things with their lives as mothers and wives and teachers and friends.

I guess what I need to glean from all these examples is to find joy in life even when things are hard, which they always seem to be. Thank you, my beautiful sisters, for bringing me hope by your shining examples.

More to Come

After I posted about not blogging last week, I went through all my archives and found quite a few partially written posts that I saved. I decided to review those posts and either rewrite or revise, so there will be more to come in the next few weeks.

Blogging Break

I am going to be taking a little break from blogging for a while. Don't know when I'll be back to this blog, but lately I just don't feel like writing anything. Maybe some inspiration will hit me and I'll be back, but I just don't have anything to write about now.

Jobs Vs. Professions

Today my husband's company started interviewing for their new stores in this area. The lines were out the door and all the way to the street. Hundreds upon hundreds of applicants, all for only about 60-70 positions.

My husband holds a bachelor's degree, something that is not required for his "job". He is not a professional, but he works in fast food management. His career has moved from the entry level associate that he was hired as at the age of 16 up to a 2nd manager at the store level--the 2nd in command in the individual store. Of course, he did take a 2-year break to serve a mission for our church and after we got married, we lived one year in a state that didn't have this fast food chain, so he was gone a year for that. In the last 15 years, he has worked for this company for 12 of them. The first 3 years were just as a job for the typical high school/college student. After his mission, he went back because it was there and a way to work his way through school. Then he married me and his ambitions to finish school were followed through with an out-of-state move to another school. That plan didn't work out the way we'd hoped and we went back to his old job at the fast food restaurant because it offered paid benefits so I would be able to stay home with our one child at the time and he could continue to work through school. He quit school for a few years when the opportunity to go into management came up. So, after about 5 years with the company was when he finally went into management. It took about a year to get into it before he actually was made a manager. Then he was a manager at that level for about a year, then at the next level for 4 years and now he is up a level from that. Of course, some things have been unfair and not right about his slow promotion, but he has worked hard. He also worked and went to school, both full time, for 2 of those 4 years as a 3rd manager.

So today after his company started interviews that brought such a huge crowd, there was an article on the local news website about the excitement. I read the article, which was positive, but the comments were mostly negative: "Why are people standing in line to make this kind of money when they can go to school and make 2-3 times that much? I think it's because people are lazy these days and don't want to put in the 2+ years and the hard work to do it."

I agree that going to school is a wise investment, but that doesn't mean that "flipping burgers" is a bad job. Not to mention, if this person thinks all these people should go to school, what does he think they'll do to work their way through it? Doesn't $10/hr "flipping burgers" sound like a good way to do it?

I don't understand the animosity out there toward blue collar jobs. Don't people realize that blue collar jobs are just as needed in society as white collar? Okay, maybe fast food isn't a necessity, I would definitely be one to argue that if it bit the big one, society would probable be better for it, but unfortunately, it's here to stay. So why not be part of a fast food company that trains its employees well, treats them as family, and utilizes business organizational methods to make it a better professional environment for those involved? Why not get that fast food job that pays well above minimum wage and offers benefits, good benefits, for full-time employees. The company was founded with the premise that if you treat your employees right and pay them well, they will want to work for you and do their best at that work, even if the work is making one good hamburger.

I am tired of feeling less than worthy because my husband works in fast food. I'm tired of feeling judged by everyone who thinks that working in fast food is for uneducated people who don't speak English. College degree or not (and my husband does have one), my husband LOVES his job. I would dare to wager that many women cannot say that. I have listened to more than my fair share of men complaining about their jobs, but mine NEVER complains about his. Not to mention that just because a fair share of managers in this company don't hold college degrees doesn't mean they don't know anything. This company trains their managers SO well, that even my father, who has loads of experience in organizational behavior and development, had to give kudos to this company for how well-oiled they run it all.

I don't think it should matter whether a person has 6-figure lucrative career they came into because of tons of formal education or they make their way by working in the food or construction industry, so-called "blue-collar work", as long as they do honest work and work hard.

Laughing

I am actually laughing right now. My husband just got a summons for jury duty, but that won't be until after October 1st, so we can actually write in and say we're moving and won't be residents of this county anymore at that time! Of all the stupid things to happen right before a move, he's summoned for jury duty. I guess we could just ignore it, given that by the time it goes down, we'll be gone and they'll find out one way or another that he's no longer a resident here. Seriously. We have 2-1/2 weeks before we're moving, and the last thing I need to take care of is a summons for jury duty! Ha ha! In your face, county superior court! My husband will not be a juror for you!