The Housing Market Crisis

We are some of those homeowners affected by the housing market crisis. I admit that we made some bad choices with regard to our loan, when and where we purchased a home, and other things, but some of it was simply due to ignorance. We did try to educate ourselves, but we didn't do a very good job of it. Now we are stuck with a home that has depreciated so much in value that it's barely worth more than 37% of the current mortgage on it. It makes sense just to walk away from it, but after researching all of this, I'm not sure that we should go that route.

My husband thinks we should. He wants to move out-of-state, and given the fact that we can't sell our house without owing a lot of money still (on a house we no longer own that has very little value), that we should just walk away when the time comes to move. But I think we should try some other things first and put moving off until it's absolutely necessary. If we have to foreclose, if we have to walk away because our options are so limited, then is the time to consider moving with the company to another state, or wherever. But until that happens, we should practice integrity by doing everything in our power to honor the contract we signed.

How do I convince him of this basic need of mine to have integrity? How do I convince him how badly the possibility of leaving our home, even though it's a home I'm not sure I even like all that much, hurts me? I have researched and researched the ramifications of either choice, and it may be that in the near future, even after trying all we can to keep this house, we still might need to leave it, but I don't think that should be our first choice, nor should it be a choice at all, but a necessity, if it happens.

We are clearly upside-down in our mortgage. Our ARM resets in July, probably making it impossible to pay. Right now, we are not behind in payments, and we have even had help to keep it that way. Right now, we have other debts, but they are not as overwhelming as they were a year ago, and we are slowly chipping away at them. There are some structural issues with our home that we might need to have looked at before the time comes to sell, if we can hold out that long. But if we are going to just walk away, I don't want to use money on hiring a professional to evaluate the home. It's possible that these issues are minor and won't require a huge repair bill. The other side of our situation is that my husband's work is moving into Utah. He wants to go when they open their Utah store this summer. He wants to be part of that. I think that's wonderful that he does, but with our house situation and not being able to sell, we might not be able to be part of that. Which is bigger, trying to maintain our integrity with the mortgage and keep this house until we really can sell it, or trying to move with the company, possibly opening up the rate of promotion to happen more quickly for my husband?

Can you weigh in with your thoughts and opinions? What might you do in a similar situation. If you want more detail, feel free to ask.

All the crazy stares

I have four kids. Their ages are 5, 4, 2, and 1. This creates a problem when I go anywhere without my husband. The problem is that most places, a grocery store, for example, do not accommodate families with more than one or two children. The carts are designed to hold only one small child in the basket up front. If you have two children that are 2 and under, you can't have one in the basket and the other walking, that would be a disaster for their store. If you put one in the main part of the cart, though, inevitably you will get lectured by an old person telling you they knew of a kid out in Georgia who fell out of a grocery cart, landed on their head, and died. I know that does happen, occasionally, but I'm taking my chances and hoping that I can maintain enough discipline and control to allow my child to sit there as long as he truly stays seated. That is the issue with that.

However, sometimes I have to run a quick errand to the grocery store and I don't want to do the double stroller because I need more items at the store than will fit in the basket of the stroller. Tonight I had such an errand. We had made valentines for all the cousins and wanted to buy some valentine candy and mailing boxes/envelopes. So we piled in the car, sans Daddy (who is at work), and went to Fry's Food & Drug. Their carts are the worst because they're super tiny as well. So I put the baby in the umbrella stroller and assign the 4-year-old the job of pushing the stroller. I put the 2-year-old in the basket of the cart and the 5-year-old's assignment is to stay by the cart and help find the candy. Before we get rolling, I give detailed rules to the 4-year-old as to how he is supposed to push the stroller in the store (no running, no sharp turns, watch out for people, stay by the cart and go slow, etc.). He is actually very careful about following these rules, more than the 5-year-old would be (which is why he was given the assigned task).

We head in and immediately elicit stares from other customers. Several feel the need to give instructions themselves to the 4-year-old, who is pushing the baby. Several others exclaim their disbelief in the horrible mother that is allowing her baby to be pushed around a store by her older brother, who is only 4. Even the checker comments on how she would never let her 4-year-old push the baby in the stroller.

"Excuse me? Maybe you should tell your boss to order carts that have two seats in the basket (like at Costco) so I won't have this problem in the future. Thank you."

No, I didn't really say that, but I do this often enough and get the same comments over and over that I really want to.

I'm a terrible mother who lets her 4-year-old child assume some responsibility by helping her out. We went in the store, the children were well-behaved, even quiet, they followed my directions, we left the store, they walked through the parking lot without running, and everybody was safe and well-behaved.

So what was the problem?

I just don't get it. We baby our kids so much in the world today that nobody expects a 4-year-old to be capable of helping out in such a fashion. They would probably be horrified to know that my kids also cleaned the mirrors in the whole house (all our sliding closet doors are full-length mirrors) and dusted in all the rooms without me standing over them (I was cleaning the bathrooms). They also make their own beds, clean up their toys, and do a number of other chores. A mom that actually expects her children to work and pitch in around the house, even as young as they are. Cart me off to jail right now...

Loving Facebook

I am totally in love with Facebook. It's so great! I've reconnected with hundreds of old friends and been very pleased to see what they're doing in life. Some of the people I haven't seen or heard from since junior high have turned out to be such wonderful people, and I would never have guessed that from who they were back then. I guess life can be a very good teacher. I have also loved seeing that some of my old connections in places I've lived have become connected with friends from other places. It's interesting to me when I click on a person's contacts and see what contacts we have in common only to find that someone I knew from one part of the states knows another person I met later in life, like in college. Whenever we moved, I always wished that my new friends could meet my old ones, and now I see that happening from time to time. Very cool. Anyway, I was jazzed today to find out that one of my old friends from gymnastics is married to a guy I had a crush on in all of junior high school, and they didn't even know each other at the time, but met later in high school, after I'd moved away to another state. I was literally bouncing off the walls with excitement at my discovery.

Anyway, Facebook is awesome! Love it, love it, love it!

Come On, Let Him Actually DO Something First

I think everybody is going a little overboard about how historic this election with Obama is. The guy hasn't even started his term yet officially. He hasn't done anything, except get elected. So all of the commemorative coins, being able to buy his acceptance speech on DVD, and all the news media about how historic this all is has really been getting on my nerves. I recognize that the first black president is historic in and of itself, but let the guy prove that he's worth all of this media hype before he goes down in the history books as this amazing person. When he finally does something worthwhile, maybe I'll begin applauding this "historic" occasion, but as of right now, I'm pretty skeptical. Especially with FOCA on the table. I think the only thing historic about that is that it shows his complete lack of character. But then again, in American politics, having lack of character is nothing new...

It's a New Year

I realize that January is already half over, but since I have these goals floating around in my head, I figured I should get them down somewhere. Maybe if I share them, I will be more motivated to follow through. I'm such a nerd, though, I'm warning you. I categorize my goals, just to make sure I don't forget one.

Physical:
1. Utilize the YMCA and go over at least 3 times a week for an exercise class of some type.
2. Walk to and from school with the kids.
3. Drink at least 64 oz of water daily. (I really don't drink enough water and am always feeling very dry and dehydrated)

Spiritual:
1. Read scriptures every day.
2. Pray morning and night.
3. Hold FHE (Family Home Evening) weekly.
4. Have regular family scripture reading and prayer (daily).

Mental:
1. Read one new book each month.
2. Write in journal once a week. (daily is simply too hard for me).
3. Write my book 4-5 days a week and finish by July 2009.

Financial:
1. Balance the checkbook monthly, as soon as the statement comes.
2. Stick to the budget (and get my dear husband to follow it also).

That's about all. For our family, we are working on getting a food storage together. We also need to gather up other preparedness essentials for our family, like diapers, wipes, and other toiletry items. Plus I'd like to go through our 72-hour kit and update it. And we need to get those water barrels filled, starting this weekend.

I'm determined to do better this year than I have the past two. Wish me luck!

Abortion: A Woman's Right to Choose?

My brother and his wife are having twins. Identical twin girls, very rare. This is not a coincidence. God has His purposes, and He wants as many of His spirit children as possible to come to Earth to have a physical body. So when two righteous Latter-day Saint parents decided to welcome one more baby into their family of six, God decided to let them welcome two.

I'm devastated over the abortion battle, that there even is such a thing. Every time I think about it, my soul cries for those sweet spirits in Heaven who are waiting to be born, but the evil deeds of men prevent them from coming.

One of the lowest evils is the taking of a human life before it's even had a chance to begin. Our President-elect Obama wants to sign into law an act that will allow this to happen on an even more enormous scale than it already does. Abortions will be legal well into the pregnancy, babies from botched abortion attempts will be left to die on a sterile table in a doctor's office or hospital, and many, many babies will be denied the right to be born.

A woman's choice? Hogwash. Why on earth does her freedom of choice include the right to decide the fate of another's life? I’m appalled that so many people have been deceived and lulled into thinking that this is a matter of personal choice. How is another person’s life the matter of choice for someone else? In God’s eyes, abortion is murder, plain and simple.

Elder Russell M. Nelson of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and a medical doctor has made this perfectly clear:

Elective abortion has been legalized in many countries on the premise that a woman is free to choose what she does with her own body. To an extent this is true for each of us, male or female. We are free to think. We are free to plan. And we are free to do. But once an action has been taken, we are never free from its consequences.

To understand this concept more clearly, we can learn from the astronaut. Anytime during selection or preparation, he or she is free to withdraw from the program. But once the spacecraft has lifted off, the astronaut is bound to the consequences of the previous choice to make the journey.

So it is with people who choose to embark on a journey that leads to parenthood. They have freedom of choice—to begin or not to begin that course. When conception does occur, that choice has already been made.

Yes, a woman is free to choose what she will do with her body. Whether her choice leads to an astronaut’s mission or to a baby, her choice to begin the journey binds her to the consequences of that choice. She cannot “unchoose.”

When the controversies about abortion are debated, “individual right of choice” is invoked as though it were the one supreme virtue. That could only be true if but one person were involved. The rights of any one individual do not allow the rights of another individual to be abused. In or out of marriage, abortion is not solely an individual matter. Terminating the life of a developing baby involves two individuals with separate bodies, brains, and hearts. A woman’s choice for her own body does not include the right to deprive her baby of life—and a lifetime of choices that her child would make. (Ensign, October 2008)

There are rare instances when abortions are performed because the pregnancy is the result of rape or incest, or the mother’s health is in jeopardy. It is being used today as a form of birth control. Despite this evil and disgusting practice, the work of God will not be thwarted. My brother and his wife are supreme examples of this. Instead of one baby, they will have two. I have so many friends who are raising righteous, good families who’ve been blessed with twins or multiples, sometimes more than once. I applaud these people and I truly believe that God, our Heavenly Father, is sending His precious children down in groups to families who will welcome them in order to combat this abhorrent man-made practice.

Having Gratitude

I'm a month behind in reading the Reader's Digest. This is one of the few "worldly" magazines that I can actually stand to read, mostly because in between all of the negative "we're all going to die of cancer because we eat too much junk food and the government is collapsing, etc." stuff, there are usually stories of hope and heroes.

In the September 2008 Reader's Digest, there's an article about the Herrin family of Salt Lake City, who, in 2002, gave birth to conjoined twins. Even after the medical community encouraged an abortion because of the possibility that the mother might die or that one or both of the twins wouldn't live beyond birth, this Latter-Day Saint couple prayed and fasted and decided to go forward with the pregnancy and birth. When the babies were born, they had a few medical problems, as conjoined twins obviously would, and it took several years before they were able to make the separation. When they finally did, they still had quite a few medical problems, but overall the surgery was a success and the girls are doing just fine.

I was literally sobbing as I read this article. It was very moving, and it brought to my mind a few of the issues I struggle with, one of which is gratitude.

Let's talk about gratitude. For some reason, just having gratitude about the things in your life can make you have a more positive outlook. After reading this article, I realized how much I have to be thankful for. While the Herrins had this experience that was probably faith-building and they are grateful for it, I am thankful that I didn't give birth to conjoined twins and have to sit through hours and hours waiting for the surgery of my precious children to be performed, all the while nervous of the outcome and wondering if I did the right thing, both by having them and by having the surgery done.

Just reading this article made me appreciate that my children are all healthy and have been since birth. I'm grateful that we aren't so steep in medical bills from something like this. I'm grateful that I had relatively easy pregnancies, compared to the one that this lady had to endure. The grass always seems to be greener, but really, when you take a good, hard look, you realize that even though other people seem to have it so much better, you really wouldn't want to have their little specialized package of trials at all. Then you really do become grateful for what you do have.