Occasionally you have those experiences that remind you how little control you really have over anything. My children have all been perfectly healthy. Aside from my oldest being born five weeks early, which was truly a huge surprise and the doctors gave no reason for the prematurity--no infections, no loss of amniotic fluid, no problems whatsoever, my children have all been perfectly healthy from day one. They hit all their milestones at the right times, even early.
So it was a surprise when my 3-year-old (he'll be four next week) suddenly started having problems with his eyes crossing and then balance issues. I took him to the pediatrician, fully expecting just a referral to a pediatric opthamalogist. But he failed his neurological exam because of his balance issues, so she issued bloodwork and set him up for an MRI to check for a possible brain tumor.
The bloodwork came back negative. All the results were normal and perfect. That ruled out leukemia and a few other things. But the MRI came back with something. Cysts in his brain. The pediatrician does not know the significance of the cysts and doesn't want to start a battery of blood tests without consulting a pediatric neurologist first.
So that is where we are. We will be seeing a pediatric neurologist and also a pediatric opthamalogist in the next few weeks.
Part of me feels certain that it's nothing and all will be okay. But there is the teensiest part of me that wonders if this could be a sign of a huge underlying problem.
And then I realized how little control I have over any of this. Just life in general. It's been a powerful reminder of who is really in charge. And I guess if the one in charge sees fit to give my child some major health issues, so be it. I can't do anything about it. I hope this is not the case. I always imagined this child, who always has been extremely well-coordinated, as an athlete. Maybe that won't be the case.
I just have to remember that God is in charge and He has a plan.