Tuesday, September 14, 2010


All of us have those things that we refuse to relinquish, no matter the cost. We think it is more important than most other things and can't understand why others don't feel the same way.

Some of us feel that way about breastfeeding. They breastfeed at any cost, and do it for sometimes more than 2 years. I believe that breastmilk is definitely the best food for a baby, but I also recognize, having experienced it myself, that sometimes when mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy, and that unhappiness can be caused by breastfeeding. After trying for several months with constantly screaming, hungry infants, I always ended up switching to bottles and formula at about 4 months. The change was magical for me--no more screaming babies, a more relaxed, peaceful mom, and much happier, more well-rested days.

Some of us feel that way about carseats. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a lawbreaker. One should definitely follow the law and have children in appropriate carseats. But there are sometimes occasions where the car being used doesn't have the right carseat, for whatever reason, like in an emergency, and the best thing to do is to buckle up and drive carefully. Of course, you should always drive carefully. But I'm not going to advocate rear-facing carseats for 3-year-olds or insist that my 7-year-old is in a 5-point harness. As long as my carseats are legal and not breaking any laws, I will be satisfied with that.

Some of us are that way about natural childbirth. I'm sure it's probably a very intimate experience. But I believe that if you want to have pain relief, that doesn't make you a bad mom. I opted to have epidurals for all four births. I still feel like I had a deeply spiritual and intimate experience--I just got to do it without feeling any pain. I'm not going to go around telling people they should have an epidural just because that's the way I did it. More power to you if you want to have a natural birth or a water birth or even a home birth. And if you had a c-section, that's fine too. As long as you and the baby came through it all healthy, why does it matter which way the baby is born?

What am I particular about? I have no tolerance for a messy house. I prefer to live in a house that I can walk through without stepping on dirty clothes and toys. I prefer to live in a house with a kitchen that has clean, sticky-free counters and table and chairs. Yes, I wash my kitchen chairs regularly. My dishes always get done after each meal, or at least twice a day (sometimes I let the lunch dishes sit until dinner). My bathrooms are cleaned at least once a week by me, and several times a week by the kids. I do not like having to use a bathroom where the toilet has pee stains and evidence of the last person's emissions in the bowl. I do not like brushing my teeth in a sink that is covered in toothpaste residue and where the mirror has water spots. My carpets get vacuumed several times a week, sometimes every day. And I don't like dealing with dust, picking up something and having to blow off the dust, like a piano book or a magazine. And like many of you who are particular about other things, I can't understand why anybody would want to live in an environment that is less clean. Now that my children are older, they are able to help out more.

So, what is it that you are particular about? What really bugs you when people don't do it or do it differently (Though you'd never probably say it)?


swedemom said...

Such a good question! And a great post.
I liked what you said about breastfeeding. I've had a lot of different experiences with breastfeeding and childbirth so I feel like people are very individual in that regard.
Despite my poor record as a roommate with washing dishes, I do like a clean house. Last year I was so sick and tired that I couldn't clean my house the way I wanted, but my health and that of my unborn child's were at sake, so I let it go.
The things I am particular about with housecleaning:
1. floors must be swept and not sticky
I vacuum my carpet once a day (and probably would do it more if I didn't worry that bordered on obsessive).
2. I wipe my counters after doing the dishes. My husband does not wipe the counters which drives me crazy.
3. My bed must be made everyday. Even if I get back into it, I will make it again. I hate a sloppy bed.
4. I like my files tidy.

Royalbird said...

I honestly don't remember how any one person was as a roommate--we were all busy college students then and often hardly ever home.
I'm with you on the floors not being sticky and the counters (and kitchen table) being wiped. And there are lots of people who don't understand about the bed being made, but I like it to be made, so my kids make their own beds every morning, even my 2-year-old makes her bed.

Anyway, the state of my house just speaks to how lousy I've felt lately because it's not where it usually is, although I do realize having to let some things go. But I'm glad that now that my kids are a little older, they can help out a little more with keeping things clean.

swedemom said...

Oh, and I hate dirty bathrooms! I clean our guest bathroom daily. The other bathrooms get cleaned once a week, but the guest bathroom is the most used bathroom in the house, hence, the dirtiest!


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