Friday, March 12, 2010

So Much For Putting Down Roots

Those of you who know me probably know how unhappy I have been and still am with my husband's choice of careers. Even more so now that they aren't going to give him what he wants and needs where we are currently living, a place we just moved to in October. They are expanding into another state within a year's time and because they aren't following through with promises here, we will probably go there. The thing is, I don't want to go there if the promises will remain broken. I'm tired of being told that if we do this, his career will be better because so far, in the last 5 years, we've really experienced nothing but lies. The fact of the matter is that he doesn't see that but I do. I see how the things we want keep being dangled in front of us and then when we reach up to grab it, it's yanked away.

Honestly, where we currently live, I'm not too thrilled about. I didn't really want to come here, but stepped aside to let my husband follow his career to new heights. I stopped fighting him on it and let him have his way. I left very good friends and family behind to come to a place where I knew people weren't going to be very friendly or nice or open to making friends with me. But I thought maybe it would be different than that and I should just do it and have a good attitude and go with the flow. And even though I've tried, it has been exactly how I thought it would be--miserable and lonely and like trying to break into a junior high school clique. Not to mention all the places I go that remind me of high school, when my hopes and dreams had my life leading an entirely different direction, so on a daily basis, I'm reminded of what I wanted for my life that I didn't get.

Yet the thought of moving again really makes me feel sick inside. I don't like this place but I don't want to move even further away from my family. Right now, it's a day's drive to any family. If we move again to the new place, it will be at least 2 days drive one way, and our finances being what they are, it will be unaffordable for us to ever see any family.

I'm quite upset at my husband's company for the situation we're in right now. I don't understand why they can't just promote him this time around, why they are standing in his way and not letting him when the people he works directly under say he's ready. That regional manager just doesn't seem to want to see my husband succeed and it's really starting to tick me off.

All I can say is this: we will not move again unless there is a promotion in the deal. No promotion, no move. That is what I said about this most recent move, but my husband talked me into it without the promotion. I certainly regret that now. I have very bitter, hard feelings toward my husband's company.

Of course, now that I think about it, I guess one more move, even further away, wouldn't make my life any worse. I already am completely isolated from most everyone and lonely to the core anyway. What's a few thousand miles more?


Becky said...

On the brighter side of things, your husband still has a job. It's hard to be jerked around like that but fortunately there's still some silver lining :)

ISBAM said...

So sorry! That all just sounds rough! I didn't know you were so far away from your family! We need to get together! Most of my good friends are a good 500 miles away, and being in Primary at church is not really conducive to making that many close friends! Are there times during the week that would work for you?

Royalbird said...

My whole family is quite spread out. My parents and youngest brother live in one state, then all of my four other brothers each live in a different state/country, and we are in an even different place. Being in Primary is a hard place to really make any friends, that's true. We have a pretty open schedule around here, Wednesday mornings are busy through mid-April, but that's about it.

Devin & Ruthann said...

I would have "had it" by now. You are nicer than I would be when it comes to this company.

PC said...

I thought the next place was going to be the land of my birth? Family would be less than a day's drive away then.

Royalbird said...

PC, I can't trust that that specific family will stay put. I've heard from a source or two that they are considering some other options, although they have the desire to stay put. But they are the super busy ones too, who wouldn't probably have much time for visits with us anyway.

swedemom said...

You know, if the company has been this dishonest with your husband and they continue to withhold a promotion, I don't think they will promote him. They want to get all the work out of him, without the pay. We have found that you have to stand up for yourself. Most companies do not have YOUR best interest at heart. They want to get their workers as cheaply as possible.
When my husband was interviewing for his current job, he told them bluntly that he needed a much higher salary to support his family. If they couldn't offer him a competitive salary then we wouldn't accept the job. When he was offered the job, the salary was much higher than what they offer for their traditional formula they use. I know it only came about because my husband was so frank with them.
Personally, if I were in your situation. I would tell the company that you will not move unless he is promoted now. If they choose not to promote him, then they clearly do not value his experience, work ethic or his loyalty. If that is the case, he should work elsewhere. I know that seems like a risky move in today's economy, but nothing will happen without your husband taking a firm stand. And if they don't respond with an immediate promotion offer, then it seems like a waste of time to work there.

Good luck.


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