Sunday, March 15, 2009

Keeping That Eternal Perspective

I think my moods fluctuate depending on how well I have that eternal perspective in my head. If I can't seem to wrap my mind around the concept of eternity and how little certain issues in this mortal life really matter, then I start to feel hopeless and completely depressed. But if I can keep that tiny glimmer that this is all a test and that I just need to get through it the best I can, still smiling, then I usually can actually do that. It's just very hard for me to keep that perspective in mind when facing certain trials and situations.

For example, the whole house situation with our mortgage and the possibility of moving and foreclosing. As long as we maintain our integrity through the ordeal, whatever course that may turn out to be, I shouldn't feel so devastated at the loss (if loss is involved) because in the eternal scheme of things, owning this home at this time doesn't really matter all that much.

And yet I wonder. This is the only opportunity for us to experience mortality. I guess part of me wants to do it as perfectly as possible. For me, that means meeting certain self-imposed expectations of home and family life. If I don't meet them, I guess in the long run (the eternal perspective), those things won't matter much, but what if I never get a chance in this life to do some of the things I want to do? Is that the end of it? Will I never have that chance again? I'm guessing not, since some of those things have everything to do with this mortal experience. I'm sure life beyond has greater things in store, but they are probably different things. Will I always feel that regret, that sense of loss, at not having achieved certain mortal goals during this life?

Sometimes I wonder. I understand (at least I think I do) that eternal life, the life in the Celestial Kingdom that we all strive for, is a most beautiful, exquisite existence, beyond what we are capable of imagining. But will they still have some of the things I want to do in this life that I may not have the chance to experience because of some of the choices that myself (or others) have made that impede those circumstances from ripening?

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