Last night my husband and I went to a Relief Society dinner. There was a guest speaker who was a clinical psychologist dealing primarily with marriage and family. He talked about paradigms, the way we see the world, and about two main paradigms, the agent vs. the victim. As he compared the two, I remembered a poem I once wrote, about 11 years ago. I wanted to share that:
My Rose-Colored Glasses
I am missing my rose-colored glasses
They fell off somewhere back there
And I can't seem to find them anywehre
It's hard to see with the dark ones on.
I've found my rose-colored glasses
But I don't want to put them on
Wearing the dark ones
Gave an excuse to not see the light.
--me, August 1999
I think that sometimes we do this, we choose to not see the light because it's easier to wallow in our misery. It may not be more fun, but it can certainly be easier than trying to find happiness when times are rough.
I admit, I tend to veer to the side of the "victim" paradigm. Pathetic, yes, but it is harder for me to focus on the good instead of the bad. Last night made me think that I should try harder to be an agent rather than a victim. It might be really difficult, but seems like it would make life a little better.
1 comment:
Sounds like a great speaker and cool that the husbands were invited. I usually attend things like that and think, "If only my husband could hear this!" Seeing the good (in spouses, situations or just in life some days) does take work sometimes, but it's more fun to be happy than to dwell on the "darkness".
(I found your blog link on LDSMoms email group.)
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