Wednesday, March 9, 2011

When My Husband Is Home

Does anybody else have this problem?

You don't get anything done on the days your husband is home off work.

I have an endless to-do list. Many of the things on it would be easier to do if I had someone to watch the kids while I concentrate on those things.

However, I have learned that on the days my husband is home from work, it is unrealistic to expect to get any of these things done. The house gets messier and the kids get more wild and crazy when he's home than when he's not home.

I can't figure out quite why. I mean, mostly, it's not like he really is home because often, he will just watch TV or play video games all day. So it doesn't seem like he would be adding to the chaos or the mess. But somehow it always is worse on those days. It's like having another child in the house.

If I tell the kids to go be with their dad so I can get something done, inevitably I end up having to come in and check up on everyone because he is so absorbed in his games or shows that he doesn't see that the kids have opened a package of pretzels and spilled them all over the kitchen floor or that they've taken a marker to the wall in the next room. Or that they are now running around outside in their underwear in 35 degree weather.

When they are home with me, I make sure they are actively engaged in something before I start something that I'd like to cross off my to-do list.

Maybe I need to treat the days he has off just like any day that he is gone--make sure they are engaged before I start projects, etc.

He's not really all lazy, like I'm making him sound. If there are things that I can't really do, like moving furniture or putting something big and heavy together or whatever, all I have to do is put together a list and he'll do it, but when he's done, he's done and doesn't want to do anything else.

Is that a man thing? It seems that when I'm done with one task, there is always another task to do. Some days, I admit, I'm not all that motivated to do much, but some days, I want to get a lot done, and even though most of it doesn't have to get done, I still want to be productive so I do it rather than wasting my time watching TV endlessly (especially when there is nothing on worth watching!).

And then a lot of the days he has off, he wants to play all day--go to the park, the movies, on errands, spend money, etc. Makes it hard to keep to the schedule I have for me and the kids and also we end up spending more money than usual and getting nothing done and then when he goes back to work, I feel like I'm running to catch up.

Does this happen to anyone else? Or are the dynamics different because the days your husband is home is on Saturday (usually a busy day of running regular errands and cleaning house and going to kids' sports events and church activities) and Sunday (a day of rest and going to church meetings and spending time with extended family)? Since mine is usually off in the middle of the week, I tend to think the dynamics are a little different. At least that's how I imagine it.


swedemom said...

Every. single. time. I totally understand!

swedemom said...

Brent is home on the weekend, but it is like that for our family. When he's home, he's tired and doesn't want to work. I don't even do a big family work day or errands on Saturday anymore.

PC said...

Nope. Doesn't matter what day of the week it is.

Devin & Ruthann said...

Yeah, Devin doesn't like to do much work on his days off. He'll mow because it absolutely has to be done, but other than that, he doesn't have many "to do" priorities. I think since men "go to work" they don't want to do anything at home.


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