This week has been a little bit trying, so here's what I learned from it all:
1. Burned broccoli smells really terrible and stays in the house a LONG time, especially when it's too cold out to keep the windows open all night long. Don't burn the broccoli.
2. When confronted by rude DMV people, it's probably best to just walk away instead of scream in their face and get kicked out of that particular branch of the DMV.
3. Dogs don't get strep throat, but when everyone has it, the dog gets ignored and then he acts out. Don't ignore your dog when you have strep throat or there may be consequences.
4. Don't tell your school-age child that he should come home as soon as he feels sick, just in case he might have strep throat. Now when he shows up for school this morning, the teacher will be wary of his presence because he told her that everyone here had strep throat and that he should come home right away if he felt sick at all. He didn't feel sick. He just wanted to come home.
5. Whenever your husband has 5 days off work consecutively, if you can afford it, get out of town. Then you may not end up with strep throat at all and can enjoy a full 5 days of being together as a family instead of 3 of those days out of commission due to strep throat.
I am lamenting the take-over of such things as cell phone books. Whatever happened to writing a book, having it edited, submitting it for publication, being rejected, trying again and again, and then publishing a real book with a cover and pages in between? I realize that many people, particularly young people, are so addicted to their cell phones that using any other type of media is foreign to them, but does anybody else find it sad that publishing is going the way of the world wide web and cell phones instead of hardcover copies that you actually have to hold and turn pages in order to read?
There's just something about holding an actual book in your hands, feeling the pages between your fingers, studying the cover and the title pages, dog-earing favorite parts, and smelling those pages. Learning to read from left to right, at least in America, begins when little children hold an actual published book in their hands and look at pictures, turning the pages from left to right and being read to by an adult. That is pre-reading, and without books, as many articles I've seen online are telling is a new trend--online media instead of the actual thing, I foresee a loss of literacy. Yes, we have huge amounts of information at our fingertips via the Internet, but literacy skills have really gone down in recent years.
I hope this isn't really the trend and that sometime in the future there won't be actual books. Because that will be a very sad day indeed.
P.S. How can you stand reading a book in a virtual format anyway? I like to hold it in my hands and be able to mark that page and memorize where certain passages are based on where they are on the page. I can't do that with virtual media.
Have you ever behaved badly? I mean, embarrassingly badly? So badly that after you finally cool off and calm down, you realize how ridiculous your behavior was, how obscene it was, that you spend the rest of the day or even week feeling so full of shame and self-loathing that you can hardly stand it?
I did that today. I behaved badly. I really ripped into two DMV employees. I let them have it. I let them have it so bad that I was kicked out of that particular branch of the DMV and told that I was not allowed to return, I would have to go elsewhere for my DMV needs. Because that made me so angry, I got home and laid into my husband, and then in turn, my children.
And now I regret it.
Is it fixable? I feel so stupid, so shameful, so humiliated that I can't believe I acted that way. Maybe I need some anger management classes. Do they really help?
Yes, I have a temper. I think I was really supposed to be a redhead. Sometimes my temper takes over and I can't seem to control it. I shake, knowing deep down that I need to get it under control, but I'm just so angry that I can't seem to stop myself. So my whole body shakes and I cry. I feel like a little child who just threw a temper tantrum. I guess that's what it was.
I've written a letter of apology, but that just seems to be stupid. I'm not about to go back there and stand in line for two hours hoping the same two employees will be at the desk that I can give the paper to. And I wouldn't try to march up to the front and hand it to them. Plus, I never did turn in any paperwork, so I'm still an anonymous person there. I'd rather it not be known who I am. I will definitely go to the other DMV to resolve my issues, but I just feel like I should apologize. I was really out of line.
Then I need to apologize to my husband and my kids. Man, I really blew it today. Wish there was a hole I could go hide in, because that's how I feel. Absolutely shameful.
"Researchers are finding that academic success is particularly difficult for a student who is struggling socially, who may feel ostracized and uncomfortable at school. The correlation between social competence and academic success is high." This is a statement from an article that found its way into my inbox today.
Does anyone else see the "duh" factor here? When I read that line, I laughed out loud. Of course, there's a correlation between social success and academic success! Despite the inaccurate media portrayal of the "nerd", who is so behind socially but so supersmart that everyone makes fun of him, it is true that confidence in social skills contributes to success academically.
In fact, I went to three elementary schools, one junior high and two high schools and in all those hundreds of people, I never knew one "nerd" who actually fit the media stereotype. Most of the academically successful people I knew were very well-rounded individuals. They often played sports or participated in dance and even cheerleading. They often played instruments in the school band or orchestra or sang in the choir. Many of them were involved in lots of clubs, spoke more than one language, and kept their social calendars quite full. Even the ones who seemed to be less socially accepted were still confident in themselves and had at least a few good friends with whom to socialize.
I was a school nerd. I guess I still kind of am one. That's how I know this--I'm speaking of my peers. Yes, even cheerleaders and football players too. The way the media portrays them is not the way they really are. Perhaps there are a few who fit those stereotypes. But for the most part, I think that most people need to be well-rounded in this way to achieve academic success.
I also think that American schools should focus on keeping extra-curriculars and the arts because those things help motivate students to do better academically. I also believe that learning in a more well-rounded way as to include these subjects helps the brain function on a higher level than just focusing on only reading and math and nothing else.
Last night my husband and I went to a Relief Society dinner. There was a guest speaker who was a clinical psychologist dealing primarily with marriage and family. He talked about paradigms, the way we see the world, and about two main paradigms, the agent vs. the victim. As he compared the two, I remembered a poem I once wrote, about 11 years ago. I wanted to share that:
My Rose-Colored Glasses
I am missing my rose-colored glasses
They fell off somewhere back there
And I can't seem to find them anywehre
It's hard to see with the dark ones on.
I've found my rose-colored glasses
But I don't want to put them on
Wearing the dark ones
Gave an excuse to not see the light.
--me, August 1999
I think that sometimes we do this, we choose to not see the light because it's easier to wallow in our misery. It may not be more fun, but it can certainly be easier than trying to find happiness when times are rough.
I admit, I tend to veer to the side of the "victim" paradigm. Pathetic, yes, but it is harder for me to focus on the good instead of the bad. Last night made me think that I should try harder to be an agent rather than a victim. It might be really difficult, but seems like it would make life a little better.
Homework. If your kids are in public, or even private, school, they all have it. These days, even kindergartners bring it home, possibly even preschoolers.
I think most of the homework given is ridiculously stupid. I think reading is essential and should be accounted for too, but I don't think that everything a child reads at home should be assigned. I think they should be able to choose their books and not be required to do a story map or book report for everything they read--that sucks the fun out of reading.
We have a HUGE selection of very good books, both picture and chapter books. I HATE that he spends what little reading time at home he has reading the stupid books that the teacher sends home. I know teachers do that to make sure the child has something to read at home, since there are parents out there who do not have a home library. But I do, and I wish that I could tell the teacher he has plenty to read at home. I'd like to start him on Harry Potter but we just don't have time with the reading she sends home to read that also.
Other homework should be small assignments, or leftover classwork, that reinforces what they are learning in school. Otherwise it's just busywork and teaches them nothing. Especially when they don't get home from school until after 4 pm (I'm sorry, but whoever thought of the 9-4 school hours should be shot--yes, I have very angry feelings on the matter of my child being gone those hours--I would much prefer 7-2, if you ask me).
I recently read an article in the local newspaper here. It talked about a study done on thin people and what their lifestyles were like. Did they exercise a lot? Were they food Nazis, eating only whole grains and fresh fruits and veggies and never touching ice cream or other treats except on rare occasions? What the article said, and it highlighted several people who were and had always been slim, was that generally they just didn't overindulge. They would go to the movies and get the large popcorn and share it and then not get a refill (I know, no refill, crazy, huh?). They drank water most of the time and ate a well-balanced diet consistently. Often, they came from slender parents, but in all the cases, they pointed out that they ate the same way their parents did.
I am a skinny person. I'm one of those people that others hate because I'm slim and haven't had to put forth much effort losing the "baby weight", etc. I related to the people in that article because I've been told so many times, with a jealous tinge to the person's voice, "Oh you look so good for having four kids!" or "how do you lose the weight so fast, what exercise program do you use?"
I gained 45 pounds with each of my pregnancies, but my pre-baby weight when I was first married hovered at just around 100 pounds. I haven't gotten back down to that yet, and my old clothes certainly don't fit me the same way, but being small can be discouraging. It's very difficult to find inexpensive clothes as all the large clothing chains don't carry sizes smaller than a 4 for women and even that's a big 4. People always act so jealous like I'm trying to make them feel bad because I'm slender. I once knew a girl in high school who was larger than me. I happened to wear the same skirt to school one day that she was wearing, by coincidence, and she got on my case about looking better than she did just because I was skinnier. I never wore that skirt again, even after moving far away, because I felt so bad about it.
I know, it's unfair that I can lose the weight effortlessly and pretty much eat what I want. The point is, what I want to eat usually isn't fast food or tons of junk. I like to eat salads and lean meats and lots of sandwiches. I usually don't take seconds at meals. I drink a lot of water throughout the day. If I'm offered water or Coke, I'll almost always choose water. My husband will gorge himself sick with dessert after a meal and often I decline because, even though the pie or cake or cookies or whatever sound tasty, I know if I eat any I won't feel very good the rest of the evening. Not that I don't ever have that stuff--I certainly do, and I love to cook and bake all sorts of tasty treats. But given the choice between a bowl of strawberries and bananas drizzled with a little chocolate or a bowl of ice cream, I'll most likely choose the fruit. Not always, but usually.
And as for exercise, why is it that you aren't considered exercising unless you work out at a gym or train for a marathon? I run up and down the stairs at my house at least 30 times per day. The only time I'm ever sitting motionlessly is when I'm at the computer. Otherwise, I'm cleaning the house, baking up a storm, fixing things, washing and folding laundry, playing with my kids, or doing something that keeps me moving. And even when I am sitting, I can't hold still. My mom once told me that fidgeters tend to burn more calories and be skinnier than people who don't fidget. I'm a fidgeter. I try to sit away from people in large groups just so I don't bug them with my constant need to change positions every 5 seconds. I just can't sit still.
So, in a nutshell, I guess I do have healthy habits, I just don't take the time to pay attention to them. That's just how I am. That's why it's effortless. Because I've developed a taste for healthy food, which I prefer over lots of fast food, and I've developed a knack for keeping active even when I'm not trying to exercise. Like many other people, though, I can always do better.
