Mother's Day

When I was growing up, I never thought of my mom as a person. I only ever thought of her as a mom. I suppose there's nothing wrong with that--after all, being a mom was and is her life's work. I'm very glad I'm able to say that. But most of the time, she wasn't so much a person with a personality to me as she was a mom, someone there to help me up when I fell, to take care of the house and keep things in order.

One day, when I was about 17 years old, I was cleaning up in the kitchen after a meal. I don't remember everyone that was there--one or two of my younger brothers, I'm sure. My mom came in and started shooting me with rubber bands. Soon, all of us were involved in this huge rubber band war in the kitchen.

You have to understand, my parents were always so serious as parents. I don't think they started out so serious when they were young and unattached. In fact, I've heard some quite good stories about how un-serious they were in those days. Being parents made them more responsible and much more serious.

This little rubber band war had an impact on me. I realized then, possibly for the first time, that my mom was a person with a personality and even though a mother was who she was, she had other parts to her that she kept hidden often.

My mom really was a great mom, but sometimes I wish I could have known her before she had children and life became hard. Being a mom tends to change people from who they were before. Little glimpses like this one are very eye-opening. Now that I am a mom, I notice that about myself too--I don't always act like who I was before I had kids--I'm much more serious and busy now in ways that I wasn't before. I don't mean to, but that person I was before gets hidden from view when I'm busy wiping noses, changing diapers and doing endless mountains of laundry.

Happy Mother's Day! It's a great day to be a mom.

*photo July 2009--my parents, my five brothers and me

Tight Budget

I sometimes wish that I could spend money without having to worry about a budget. Just spend it without thinking about it, see something I like and buy it. I could do that when I was single and teaching school. At least in a more carefree way than I can now.

I just went to the store with all four kids to buy some supplies for the making of my oldest child's birthday cake. I was out of cake mix at home and needed to buy a few other things. While I was there, I was tempted to purchase a whole bunch of cake decorating supplies. But it's not in the budget right now and what I've already got at home will be good enough for the cake I'm making.

Then we went into the food aisles to buy his breakfast cereal. I swear, everything I passed looked good. Being thirsty and hungry and shopping is not a good combination. Even the soda looked good! I must have put about six different items in my cart that I later took out and placed back on the shelf, knowing that I didn't really need to buy it. Then we walked by the clothes.

My summer wardrobe is so sad. Actually, so is my winter wardrobe. I did get to buy a few new things last February with some money I earned on my own. I try to buy one or two things when I spot a really good clearance deal. But nothing I own is very stylish or nice.

It would be so fun to go shopping on someone else's ticket. Like winning a $1000 shopping spree to wherever I please. I would go to Ross and load up. Maybe hit up a store like JC Penney or Kohl's when they are having a good sale.

Some day perhaps. Maybe never. I guess I can live with that. I think warm spring days make me feel like I should be more carefree with every aspect of my life, like I did in high school on a warm spring Friday the week or two before graduation when I felt so free.

So I'll blame it on the warm spring day.

Shopping Regrets

Are you a regretful shopper? I am. Every time I shop, even if it's for something in particular that I've been saving up for, after I make the purchase, I always notice if the item I bought is a better deal somewhere else. Often, I'll do this for months afterward, regretting having bought the item at the time/price I did.

We bought bunk beds and mattresses this last month with our tax return money. We needed a new bed for two of our children, so we decided to buy a bunk bed for them to share. When we found one we liked, we decided to buy two and replace the other bunk bed we already had so that they matched. After finally buying the beds and setting them up, I got an ad in the mail from another furniture store advertising a much nicer looking bunk bed set, one that will divide into separate twin beds (something we didn't consider and currently don't have) for only about $75 more per bed than what we paid. It looks like a good deal. The place we bought our current bunk beds has a 90 day return policy, so technically, we could take apart the beds and take them back with our receipt, but that sounds like so much work! Plus they are pretty good beds and we were happy with our purchase at the time.

I do that with cars too. My parents always did it. They would buy a car and then constantly be on the lookout for a better deal.

And not just big purchases, but little things--shoes, clothes, sometimes even groceries. I just kind of hate spending money, so am constantly on the lookout for good deals, even after the fact.

Does anyone else do this? Does anyone else regret making a big purchase, even if it's one you saved up for and paid cash, just because it was so big?

Bad Mom Confession

I have a confession to make. I'm a bad mom. You know how you're supposed to be all supportive of the school by volunteering to help out? I'll be honest. I don't want to go into my kids' classrooms and help out.

I know, I should want to. I have the time to do it. My husband is generally off two days a week on weekdays, so it would be really easy for me to go in at least once a week. And you'd think I'd really want to, having a teaching background. But I prefer to fade into the scenery, I'm not a take-charge person (other than with my own family), so when I go in to help, I'd rather just be handed a bunch of papers to help grade or some materials to prep for a lesson. I don't want to take aside a group of students struggling in reading or math and help them, unless there is a clear cut lesson plan for me to follow. I don't like winging it.

So there. That's my confession.

And to be honest...when I was a teacher, I didn't really like having parents come in and help. They got in my way more than they helped.

My New Life

This is very touching and inspiring. But be warned--you will need a tissue (or an entire box!).

Pregnancy Cravings

When I was pregnant with my first child, I craved cucumbers. I had such bad morning sickness and the only thing that I could bear the thought of eating were fresh, crunchy cucumbers. I even kept an ice chest by my bed at night full of freshly cut up cucumbers for me to munch on when I just needed to eat.

Now that child will be seven years old on Saturday. He absolutely hates cucumbers. When I serve them, usually as the vegetable side, I peel them then cut them into slices. I serve them with Ranch dressing as a dip. Most of my kids love that, but my oldest still hates them. Getting him to eat just one slice is a successful meal when cucumbers are involved. And when he does, he has to douse the slice in about as much Ranch dressing as everyone else has put together. Kind of loses the whole health factor when he does that!

I wonder if he doesn't like them because I ate them so much when I was pregnant with him? Do your kids have anything like that, something they will eat or won't eat that correlates with something you would or wouldn't eat when you were pregnant?

Busy...But Slow

Have you ever had a day, a week, a month, even a year that just seemed to drag its heels? You are so busy, but time just doesn't seem to move at all?

That is how this last week was. I can't believe it's only been one week when I think about some of the things that have gone on here.

One week ago, on Sunday morning, we woke up to find little mouse poops all over the kitchen and living room. He/she (it, really, to me) was caught late Sunday night, between when I went to bed around 10:30 pm and my husband got home from work around 2 am. That was a huge relief!

It has only been one week of baseball games in the cold, rain, snow and wind for my boys. Seems like their season has dragged on forever, but the first game was Monday.

I went to Women's Conference at Brigham Young University on Thursday and Friday.

I still can't believe that it has only been one week. All these things and we only passed through one week!

One week ago, all the boys were in one room and my daughter was still in her crib. Now they are two sets of bunk beds in two rooms (my oldest boy is sharing with my 2-year-old daughter currently).

I mean, really, it's nice when time seems to slow down. The kids grow so fast, and time always seems to just speed by. But this week just dragged on and on. April didn't seem to want to end. My budget didn't like that (come on, May!--need to buy diapers but don't have the money in the budget until May starts!*).

*I did buy diapers in April, I just deducted the amount from May's budget.