Sharing a Bed

Another long night. We bought a new mattress yesterday. Our spring mattress we bought when we were first married nearly 9 years ago was totally shot. So we researched and shopped around and laid down on lots and lots of mattresses. We decided on memory foam. We took a little of our tax return and found a memory foam mattress from IKEA that cost around $500. We decided on it in a visit a few weeks before we had the cash, and then on Monday, we went to buy it. We tested all the mattresses again just to be sure we had picked the one we wanted. Not too firm, not too plush, just right.

They didn't have it on the floor. We checked again the next day. They still didn't have it out on the floor. Finally, yesterday, my husband went in while I was busy at a class with the kids and voila! They had it. He bought it. Took out our old mattress and got it all set up while I was gone.

I was excited when I got home and went straight to the bedroom, anxious to try it out. Plus I really needed a nap just then. Upon laying on it, I discovered that it was nothing like the floor model. It was HARD AS A ROCK!

Pause. Time for a little back story.

I haven't slept well since June 21, 2001. I actually always had sleep problems on and off before then, but since having to share, not only a room, but a bed with someone else, the problem has just compounded. It got even worse when the babies started coming.

How do you share a room and a bed with another person and actually sleep? It's probably because I always had my own room growing up--I have five brothers. I shared until I was about 7 or 8 and then my parents moved me to my own room. When I got to college, having a roommate was really hard for me. The noise, the mess, the late hours they kept. I never realized how that issue might affect a marriage.

Then I got married. I learned that I am not a cuddler. I don't like to have anyone near me when I sleep. Factor into the equation that my husband outweighs me by one-and-a-half times my weight and you get a very lopsided, uncomfortable bed. For me. He sleeps just fine.

We thought that it might help to get a memory foam mattress so there would be less movement from him. Our old mattress was so worn, we thought perhaps that was a factor in my inability to sleep.

Now I'm wondering if I will ever sleep again. We have a 90-day trial period with this mattress, but who's to guarantee that if toward the end of the 90 days, we decide to take it back, that another mattress will be any better? If they all start out this firm (memory foam, anyone?) and take 2-4 weeks to "break in", then no matter what mattress we get, I won't sleep for at least a month, and that is if the memory foam turns out to be as comfortable as I'd hoped. If not, sleep will simply elude me. Still.

I am all for twin beds in separate bedrooms with a Jack-and-Jill bathroom in between.