Monday, August 8, 2011

Is Chivalry Dying?

My friend in Arizona posted on Facebook today of how hot she was sitting her car with no AC waiting to drop her son off at school. The reason she was in a car with no AC was because her husband took her car to work. The family vehicle they have, a minivan, has AC, but the smaller compact car he drives has no AC. Usually, her husband car pools with someone, but because he was planning on leaving work early, he wasn't getting the usual ride, so the plan they came up with was for him to take the car with AC because he drives 30 minutes to work and 30 minutes back and she only had to take the oldest child to school. They have two other younger children and it wasn't specified in her post where the younger children were at the time of the school drop-off. I'd imagine they'd be with her unless she has someone watch them while she drops the older one off. Also, my friend suffers from MS, which is exacerbated by the extreme heat in Arizona. Despite her condition, her husband accepted a job which relocated the family from Utah to Arizona. He did already have a decent-paying job with benefits in Utah, just one he didn't absolutely love.

So that's the situation.

In my opinion, her husband should have let her have the car with the AC. After all, the no AC affects more than just her, since kids will be riding in that car as well AND since she has the health condition which is so adversely affected by the heat, she should have gotten the car with the AC, even though it was only five minutes to the school, she still had to wait in the drop off line.

First of all, I also think it was selfish of him to go out looking for a job in a place that causes her health condition to worsen, accept said job, and move the family there. She was excited for a new adventure, and I can understand that. But he should have thought it through more, and, being a caring husband, considered her health when deciding to move the family to such a hot place.

Secondly, I think it extremely selfish of him to not allow her the car with the AC. Even if it was her idea to have him take that car, he should have been chivalrous and declined, insisting that she, the mother of his children, the woman in his life, and the one suffering from this health condition, should have it. It's only one day, and men should be willing to give up their creature comforts for their women. I think that is being a true gentleman. She, being a true lady, should have been gracious and willing enough to accept it.

But men are not like that anymore. They are simply too selfish to consider putting someone else's needs above their own. It's a pitfall of modern society. It's a result of years of feminism being hounded into them that they shouldn't sacrifice anything for a woman because she is manly enough to take care of herself.

Anyway, I'm still mad from reading her post. I even wrote that her husband should have taken the car with the no AC and she said he couldn't have because of his longer drive, but I still disagree. He would have been fine. Yet now she is unable to do anything for the rest of the day because she had to sit in that heat.


Becky said...

It seems like you are going a long way towards projecting your feelings into the situation. Your friend was probably only complaining about the heat and it doesn't seem necessary to pick at problems that aren't an issue for her. I respect your views on chivalry, but I don't think your example is right for your argument.

Royalbird said...

You don't think that offering her the better car would be the kinder thing to do, since she has a problem that is affected by the heat and ended up sitting in the hot car just as long he would have in traffic? My husband isn't always chivalrous either, but he never would have expected me to sit in a hot car with little kids while he rode in one with AC when we lived in Arizona, that's for sure!

Royalbird said...

And I would have insisted that he get the AC so he wouldn't be all sweaty for work, but he would insist harder and end up winning because that's just the way he is mostly.

PC said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
swedemom said...

I agree with you completely Jenna. My Dad always thought it a point of honor that his wife was assured the safest, best vehicle that he could afford. He was very disdainful of men who took the best for themselves and did not extend their protection and honor to their wives.


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