Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Communication in Marriage

Week #5 Challenge: Make a list of 5 things you currently do and ask your husband to prioritize them for you of what is important to him. For example - a clean home, home cooked dinner, coupon clipping, service at church, having friends over for dinner, watching/doing sports with him, etc.

This might appear strange, but I think this is useful because it opens up lines of communication that may not exist. Actually, when I handed my husband my list, he looked at me a little strange, but I just told him that I just wanted his opinion on it just to see what he thought and we were able to talk about it more, whereas usually, I just go about my life doing these things and he doesn't seem to care or notice. At least knowing what's important can help me divide my time more wisely and prioritize.

I made a list of things I do around here, not really having anything to do with him, so I think I missed part of the point, and I could only think of four things: taking care of the finances, planning and cooking meals, caring for the children, and cleaning the house. I know I do more than that, but it just felt like most everything I do is lumped into those categories. I didn't think to add taking care of him and his needs, but maybe I should have. When I handed him the list, I asked him if there was anything I'd overlooked that he would want to add to it, and he didn't add anything.

Here is how he prioritized it:

1. Caring for the children.
2. Cleaning the house.
3. Taking care of the finances.
4. Planning and cooking the meals.

I find it interesting that cleaning the house is #2 because he doesn't seem to really care as much as I do about order and cleanliness, so I wonder if he put that because he knows it's important to me. But at least my desire for order and cleanliness is validated.

This was insightful to me and I think helpful. At least it gave us something to talk about. :)

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